Editor’s Note: Where I just Google if it’s a national day of some sort and just get absolutely astounded by the results.

I’m going to focus on 3 types!! of National Days today, March 25th, 2023. I’ll also mention an international day, which shouldn’t count, but will be mentioned regardless. And it’s Maryland day or something.

National Medal of Honor Day: Today honors all National Medal of Honor recipients. The Medal of Honor is the highest military award for valor in the United States and it was created in 1861. Just zero to be snarky about here. This easily wins the day for the most impactful National Day day today. Much respect and thanks to all the men and women who’ve been awarded a National Medal of Honor.

no snappy commentary on my part, a sincere thanks to all recipients

Tolkien Reading Day: So, I’ve read all the LOTR books seen the movies etc. It’s a stone cold classic and the films are great as well. Author J.R.R. Tolkien was a pretty interesting fellow as well. I didn’t see The Hobbit movies and can’t really remember ever reading it as well.

So there is material here to make fun of virgins and Dungeon and Dragons players, etc. but it’s pretty old and boring. Reading is a great thing and I’d highly recommend anyone who hasn’t read these books do so.

Looking for his jewelry

I can totally slag on the awful, putrid attempt by Amazon Studios to cash in on the LOTR mythos with their series, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power which finished up season 1 this past fall. I just logged onto my Prime account to see what episode I personally bailed on. Episode 4. I was done. One of the worst shows I’ve ever seen.

Metacritic had a 7.1 critic review average and a 2.6 user review average. Rotten Tomatoes had an 83% critic rating and an inverse 38% user rating. If there’s more than a 30 point delta on critic vs. average joe regarding ANY TV or movie product, this is a warning to not watch said show/movie.

There was a dumb controversy regarding morons being mad that there were black hobbits in the show. Who cares, what color any of the characters are, I just care if the show is good or not. It’s totally not.

You are both stunningly boring characters. Jeff Bezos Andy Jassey shat out about 715 million to make us really not care about you.

Ok, so I’m fine with national Tolkien reading day or whatever today is cause reading is good and the LOTR books are good and you should read them. The major website I refer to to find if it’s a National Day or whatever hilariously gives ideas on how to celebrate each national day. My favorite recommendation for Tolkien day is to create your own map of middle earth. Here’s mine.

My interpretation of Middle Earth

National Lobster Newberg Day: I’ve never heard of this dish before. So this is obviously a dumb fucking day. I looked up when national Lobster day is (cause obviously there’s one of those) and it’s on June 15th. I feel like Lobster Newberg Day is super fucking jealous of the actual Lobster Day.

There is some history about this dish and stuff, but I think it’s made up or you are only allowed to eat it if you’re a coastal elite. Clear example of National days gone awry here. I do recommend David Foster Wallace’s essay collection Consider the Lobster, it’s fantastic.

sooo yummy

It’s also supposedly Maryland Day, as mentioned above. Longish story of how settlers had Thanksgiving with themselves after inking a peace deal with local Native Americans (they probably called them heathens or injines back then). So on March 25th, 1634 settlers had “Thanksgiving” with each other. This is clearly a lie and made up by the state of Maryland travel and tourism board, or a similarly titled state organization. NO links for you!

Lastly, it’s International Waffle Day. The Swedes came up with this one, think that’s why I’m seeing more international than national Waffle Day. Waffles are fine, they are clearly better than pancakes, but outside of the occasional donut I’m not huge on eating sweet shit for breakfast. The major reason I’m bringing this up is because Waffle House is the one chain restaurant to rule them all! It’s the best place in the world and I love it. My go to is Texas Cheesesteak Melt, double order of hash browns scattered, covered and chunked. Perfection. Added bonus is that you may see a fight and if you are in your 20’s you are most likely blacked out drunk if you are at a Waffle House.

average BAC of patrons in the picture is 0.15%