Editor’s Note: Where I turn on MTV Classic and review the first video I see

Commercial Break and House of Pop is on. Excited that something terrible will be queued up for me!

Britney Spears/”Stronger”

Brittney is at some wack club and an aryan looking surfer dude is hanging with a model hoe and Brit is mad, says, “Whatever” and walks off. Super bad graphics of a storm in some unrecognizable city and Brit belts out a pretty bad, “ooooo yeah ha”. She could never sing. Someone like Madonna couldn’t either really, but she was actually interesting and had good songs. I’ll probably have a bunch to say here, we are only like 10 seconds into the video lol.

We are cutting between the party Brit left with aryan surfer dude and Brit dancing in an all black room, wearing all black minus a bare midriff (obvs) and she’s humping a metal chair. I thankfully don’t remember this song, it’s horrible.

She loves this chair more than the surf dude

She’s also humping the floor. Back at the lame party everyone is wearing white, maybe it’s a KKK rally, except Brit who’s also wearing all black there too. She opens a door to another room and it sets off an earthquake.

Back to the room, the chair is now animated and dancing as well. Brit is dancing on it still and sliding around but she gets tired of it and kicks it out of frame and now she’s driving a car? The only thing worse than this video is the actual song.

Brit is driving through a lightning storm but she’s not in the CGI city, she’s in a CGI desert instead. OH SHIT the chair crash lands in front of the car and she skids out to avoid a collision! She gets out of the car in the lightning storm and it’s raining now. She’s back in the black room with the chair again next? and she’s doing some Matrix type shit and the chair is still animated and can dance, but apparently the chair has forgiven her for kicking it earlier. The chair changes into a cane! Cut back to it being a chair/cut to cane/cut to chair etc etc. Some other dumb shit happens and she now walking down a CGI bridge.

And that’s it! I’m assuming she killed everyone dressed in white at the KKK party after she opened up the door and set off an earthquake cause they never came back after that scene.

I think the moral of this video is that Brit isn’t opposed to dating a racist but if they break up with her, she will kill them.