So I decided to do a live blog of the draft tonight! I’ll be drinking and commenting as fast as my fingers can type. I’ll kick shit off at around 7:30 P.M. EST.

Some housekeeping. Big time trade fireworks leading up to the draft, Bradley Beal, The Zinger, Marcus Smart, Chris Paul (2x) and Jordan Poole have already been traded. Should be an interesting draft and free agency.

Also, I’m a perpetually frustrated Atlanta Hawks fan and pretty big NBA fan. Should be fun, let’s get drunk (soon)!

He’s my Herro, for laughable fashion choices.

All times P.M. EST until otherwise notified

6:45 watching Daily Wager, Victor Wembanyama -20000 to go first pick. Someone bet 60K to win 300 clams. This is how you get divorced.

6:49 I just bet $20 at -142 that Scoot Henderson goes 3rd. $14.08 payout, we will see.

6:52 just cracked first beer (a Tecate)

6:57 still watching Daily Wager and ESPN MLB is doing promo where they play “Song 2”.

7:03 watching ESPN they reminded us that in 2012 the Hornets picked Michael Kidd-Gilchrist second, woof.

7:07 ESPN showed Rob Pelinka. He literally looks like Rob Lowe with way more plastic surgery.

7:30 draft show kicking off on ESPN. I’ll have a decision to make on whether to watch ESPN or ABC once the draft starts.

7:32 Victor (we will forgo his last name from now on) likes space!

7:33 I like Reddick, Bilas is knowledgable, who the fuck is Andraya Carter? and I can’t stand Malika Andrews. Not great for the ESPN panel.

7:37 God, more Marty Smith. Do we really need him shooting T-shirts into the crowd? Rough start to the broadcast.

7:39 Scoot Henderson has an elite grill.

I’m popping this bitch once the actual draft starts

7:47 I’m thinking I’ll go to the ABC feed once the draft starts. The ESPN broadcast has the same energy as drying paint.

7:53 they ditched the runway walk, I think that is a great decision

7:56 side pieces are lacking in the NBA draft compared to the NFL draft

She’s also from France and would be a great rim protector as well

8:03 Kevin Neghandi and SAS in the lounge, I think I’m rolling with this broadcast

8:04 Adam Silver is proof that aliens exist

8:05 although he also looks like a vampire

8:05 Neghandi says there hasn’t been a unanimous #1 pick since LeBron, can we fact check this? That is not correct.

8:06 My YouTube TV feed has been shaky since I turned to ABC. Robin Roberts is in France interviewing Victor.

8:12 Spurs take Victor. Some dude won $300 on his 60K bet

8:17 Jeremy Sochan daps up Victor. He’s dressed like he just sold 2 bricks out of his Lambo. God more Marty Smith in San Antonio.

8:18 Marty says than San Antonio is now Webantonio. Wow.

8:19 Hornets take Miller! I think that is the smart pick, he’s a baller, can shoot and under-rated play maker.

8:20 Award Tour as the bump music! ABC/ESPN loves this song. Fake bump music still in the broadcast. That was a fuckup, now interviewing Miller.

8:22 Monica McNutt mentioned Miller liked Paul George, that’s my ceiling comp for him.

8:26 Scoot goes third! I cash my bet!

8:29 Scoot seems like he has an awesome family, cheering for him big time.

8:32 Amen Thompson goes to Houston with the 4th pick. He’s a twin, a Thompson twin. He does have the worse name though. His family is obvs religious, and this has to cause confusion.

“Amen”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“No, I was just finished praying, sorry”

8:38 Are just SAS and Nanganhdiii the only ones allowed in the couch lounge?

8:39 Pistons take Amen’s bro Auster Thompson with the 5th pick

8:43 I learned that The Thompson Twins played in Overtime Elite in the ATL last year. And OT Elite is a G league competitor of sorts.

8:48 Amen wins going to Houston over Detroit, so he strikes back for his name disadvantage

8:48 “Award Tour” bump music finally

8:49 I’m switching back to ESPN, no idea what is going on at ABC either

8:50 I’m behind lol, Magic took Black at #6 and Pacers took another French dude who’s name I can’t spell at #7 but they are trading that pick to the Wizards.

8:55 I’m eating a sandwich and still drinking champagne

8:57 Wiz took due from Houston Jarace Walker who’s getting traded to the Pacers

8:59 Scoot already has an AT&T commercial! Go Scoot!

9:02 Jazz take some guy named Hendricks from UCF. We are easily at the point where I have zero idea who anyone is. I also had to go downstairs to get some Olive Garden dressing for sandwich. So good.

9:12 I have no idea who anyone is, just waiting for the Hawks pick. The highlight of the draft so far has been Olive Garden Italian dressing on my sandwich.

9:14 Juwon Howard sighting! He tried to assault another coach after a game, but he still has a job. This is his son!

9:16 JJ isn’t questioning Jett’s professionalism. Ok, cool. Again, Juwon tried to assault the Wisconsin coach a couple years back and still has a job.

9:23 The arena seems dead, this whole draft just seems dead

9:27 This is bad, ESPN/ABC but not sure it’s their fault. The audience just seems to not care at all, no one cheering or booing, just nothing going on. Twiddling my thumbs until the Hawks pick.

9:31 The Grady Dick suit is horrid. The worst part is he’s wearing Men’s Wearhouse pants.

9:32 Dick confirms the jacket is a Wizard of Oz/Kansas hat tip. Ok, I hate it less.

9:38 Hawks are up, I need them to draft Whitmore who has slid. I’ve never seen him play, just do it!

9:40 I get insider info that Kobe Bufkin at 15. LFG! Never seen him play lol

9:43 he does look like a Trap artist, so he’s probably happy to be in the ATL

9:48 Hawks need more guard play so I’m cool with the position, hope he works out. Hawks cannot keep Trae and Murray long term. So they need to trade Trae for a haul before the season or Murray at the deadline. One of two scenarios have to happen.

10:00 My mom went to IU and I wanted to. This is really bad. Nothing to see here. Interested in the ratings.

10:07 Nice pick by the Heat who I hate. They are smart. Jaquez is a baller and will do good in the Heat system.

10:11 Can everyone stop pretending like CP3 to Golden State will move the needle? Woj just pretended to do so just now. That ship has sailed.

10:12 Podziemski a Pole! My mom is Polish! My dad is a Serb (I’m neither, adopted) Jokic strong!

10:16 “I’ve got soullllll and I’m super baaaad” sing it James. The bump music more excitement than the entire broadcast.

10:18 I’m sticking in here and going back to ABC to see if anyone else is allowed to sit by SAS

10:25 My NBA friends and myself have full on been making fun of the draft for at least an hour. This has been so boring it’s unreal. I’m about to start listening to music i think. Not yet but SOON!

10:32 Ben Simmons shade, I’m here for it. He’s a fucking pussy.

10:49 I’m still here. This is going out with a whimper. I’m old enough to remember when the draft was super interesting and Hawks fans were super pumped up when we moved up to draft Bruno Fernando in the early second round, and I was mad when we didn’t take Jalen Brunson but took Omari Spellman instead.

10:55 fuck Ja Morant and the Grizzlies. Ja is over-rated AF

10:56 I’m getting petty now lol, but he’s over-rated. He’s a worse version of Westbrook, he’ll be awful when he can’t jump anymore.

11:03 They are just talking to the moms. That’s fine.

So this didn’t shake out how I wanted it to. Usually the NBA draft is exciting and the fans are in it. I did accomplish drinking a bit though so I’ll give my 2 cents. No one cares anymore. It’s crowded but silent. It’s the norm. Anyway, this is a music opinion blog mostly and I love hip hop so I’ll just play my Too Much Pete Rock playlist on shuffle until the Hawks second round pick and document it.

11:21 Gramatik “Just Chillin'”

11:24 Smif-N-Wessun “K.I.M”

11:26 Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five “The Message”

11:33 DJ Unwind “Truth Beyond the Beat”

11:36 Damu The Fudgemunk “Victorious Visions” *Damu is a genius and such an under-rated musical light. This used to be a draft live blog which I was excited about.

11:43 Dela “Electrique”

11:47 OC & Apollo Brown “Trophies” *Two under-rated hip hop masters

11:49 Hawks pick coming up!!! soon!

11:50 Damu The Fudgemunk & Raw Poetic “Think Back (The Instrumental)”

11:55 Pete Rock “Time For Learning”

12:00 A.M. (we are on A.M. time now, still Easern Standard) Pete Rock “Soul Food”

12:02 last song, Hawks in two picks. LOL commercial break! This always happens with the Hawks second round pick. It’s a tradition. I’ll do a post of Hawks second round draft picks and rank them from the 90’s. Good idea lol.

12:06 This didn’t quite hit like I wanted it too, but it was fun, I wish it had been more exciting!

12:07 Hawks pick still not in!

12:16 I was going to record this but saw something different so will just announce and tip my cap. With the 46th pick the Hawks select Seth Lundy from Penn State.

clumsy, I miss you

Editor’s Note: Not a hit, but may get a yearly dispatch because of the terribleness